Thursday, December 29, 2005
Yikes.
I just read this post and I almost cried. It hit me, hard. And personally. This is so hard to write. Because it is real. To me.
I related to her in that post. I totally have those moments of the deepest despair. Life sucks. I suck.
Sometimes I will pick a fight with hubby, and in the end I am crying hysterically.
This is so hard. Some of you know this, but some of you don't. I have been on a low dose of an antidepressant for a long time. (Two years? Maybe?) And it really has helped to take the edge off of a lot of things. Not escaping. I still feel. I just feel like I can process information more rationally.
But lately I have noticed that I am gradually turning into that girl that I was two years ago. Edgy. Sensitive. Hyper-sensitive. Beginning to feel the scales tip the other way. More things are going wrong than right.
I have started to have my "fits" again. A spiral, a black hole. I can't breathe. All I can do is cry.
Anyway, I hope that by posting this I can maybe start to claw my way back. Because I know ultimately, I love life. I just have to remember why.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Randomness.
For real.
First, must fill in people (actually, one person, I have already told everyone else) about my nocturnal ventures. There are two. Brace yourselves.
The first one happened a long time ago, and I do not remember it. Hubby does. Apparently I sat up in bed, glared at hubby, punched him in the chest, said "hm", laid back down and went back to sleep. I really really want to remember this.
The second one happened a couple of nights ago. Hubby came home from work and asked me what I had been dreaming about. I told him I didn't know. "Why?" I kicked him. I sort of remember this, and sort of remember thinking that this was a bad thing to do. But apparently it wasn't bad enough, because when he said ouch I said shut up. See? I am funny even when I am sleeping. But mean. Please don't call the police and report me for spousal abuse.
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For those unfamiliar with the stars, this will be known as a segue.
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Hubby got a bottle of The Works Tub & Shower cleaner in his stocking from Grampy & Grandma. Classic.
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I received a certain Physical Science book from KWB. She wrapped it up as a Christmas gift, and I opened it in front of the whole fam. The problem with this Physical Science book is that I have not been on the winning team once, even though I started it. I hate when that happens.
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Do you like how I have perfectly aligned the stars?
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I received a letter in the mail today that was completely unexpected, yet welcome. You see, a long time ago (sometime between November 1, 2000 and September 15, 2003) I signed up for a free credit report. Then, to my shock and dismay, I was billed $79.95 for my FREE credit report.
So, I called them. "Sorry, nothing we can do." Then I faxed them. No response. Finally, I played my father's favorite card: I threatened them with a lawyer. They STILL did not give me my money back.
It appears that I was not the only one who had this problem, because the Federal Trade Commission is making them issue full refunds.
HAH!
That rocks my world.
The gist of the letter is the FTC is saying that the credit report agency did not make the original offer clear. My favorite sentence from this letter (besides the one saying they are giving me my money back) is this: "Although we disagree with the FTC charges, we also want satisfied customers".
Like hell.
But at least I get my money back!
Monday, December 26, 2005
Aawww...
It's over. I had such a good time yesterday. Now I feel like a balloon that has been stuck with a needle.
Yesterday, my dad put on this awesome play at church. I sat with hubby, Grampy and Grandma. Most of the service I just loved on Grandma, which is something that you don't get to do much in other places. Anyway, dad started to sing. I put my arm around Grandma's shoulders, and whispered "you must be so proud." Hello waterworks! My mom says I am a brat for that. I just figure that I was speeding up the inevitable.
Many things like that happened yesterday. I love the creation of in-jokes in a family. Especially mine. It is the best feeling to be included in something like that.
So now, Christmas is over. I guess I will have to go console myself with some shopping. Darn.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Happy Holidays!
Yay! It's Christmas Eve! I am psyched!
Seriously. Up until this very moment, I haven't really thought about the fact that Christmas is almost here. Yeah, I bought presents. Yeah, I conned various people to wrap them for me. (I hate wrapping.) Yeah, I ended up having to wrap some of them on my own. (Dad, your gift was one of them, I apologize in advance.)
But it didn't really hit me. Today, when I woke up, I was smacked by the stupid stick big time. And now my heart is beating funny. I feel like I am going over one of those hills in a car all the time. You know, the ones where your stomach ends up in your throat and forces you to giggle a little? Whee!
I am finally in the holiday spirit! Woo hoo! Time for the countdown to gifts! Woo hoo! I have already made most of my friends promise to call me with a loot list. I am excited!
I feel like a little kid. It's great!
Merry Christmas everyone! I hope that it is ab-fab! I pray for wonderful memories with your families. I pray for peace and contentment for you. I pray that the Lord touches your heart and your spirit is humbled by the true meaning of these days.
Oh, and I also pray that you all get great prezzies!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Ewwww!!!!!!
This morning hubby woke me up with the offer of making me a meatloaf omelette. How gross is that?
He made himself one, claimed it was very good, and proceeded not to feel well for the rest of the day.
I wonder why?
Saturday, December 17, 2005
More Notes on the Super-Chica Who Re-Designed My Blog
She is also the only reader that I have who actually goes to my blog under her own steam.
Yes, I am bad. One of my readers visited my house today, which was the perfect excuse for her to catch up on my latest postings. I made her sit at the computer (under gun point) and read my blog. Usually I just call her and tell her to read my latest post. I thought that this would be a more fun twist.
And yes, I do call people to let them know that I have recently posted. And have they read it? No? Well, do you have a minute? I'll wait, it's no problem.
I am sad.
So I appreciate so much my one lone reader that I do not have to coerce. Thank you, love.
Props
Yo. To my sista in the dee-see area, for re-designing my blog into something pretty, without being Pepto-Bismolly. Yes, I know Bismolly is not a word, but this is my blog dammit. I speak how I want to here.
Anywho, she totally rocked my blog. Her hubby helped some too, which I appreciate mightily. Plus, it gave us an excuse to chat on the phone long after business was over. And the e-mails! Chica is crazy funny in her e-mails.
Also need to thank her for her unceasing patience. Throughout the process of re-design, I suddenly turned into one of those people who asked a million stupid questions. I would often figure out the answer on my own about 10 seconds after sending the e-mail off. But she never failed to be a sweetie, and she answered all of my questions for me (again)!
She would also be horrified to know that I make changes directly in the template instead of going to Word and thinking up something clever to say and then copying and pasting. Please don't tell her I do this. And if you do, make sure to reiterate that she needs to keep a copy of my template. ALWAYS!
She also dug up the banner pic, and came up with my tag-line.
She also writes all of my posts for me. KIDDING!
So, to my little chica, many many smooches. Thank you so much!
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Yeah, I am so in trouble for posting this, but I just had to.
I have mentioned previously that hubby is mega-cheap. Well, this is my reaction to one of his more than mega-cheap moments. As you can see, I spent $38.38 out of our joint checking account at Wal-Mart. This somehow precipitated into a fight, that went thus:
hubby: I can't believe you spent that much money at Wal-Mart. (Okay, I could be making up some of his verbage as I can't remember it clearly. I do, however, remember mine. Which is the funny stuff.)
me: I only bought things that we needed.
hubby: Yeah, right.
me: (holding receipt close to my face) Okay, I bought deodorant, because I thought that you were more attracted to me if I smelled good. My fault.
me: I bought warm vanilla room deodorizer because my friend is coming to visit and I didn't want her room to smell like stale gross whatever.
me: Then I bought 4 bottles of The Works tub & shower cleaner, because I use one bottle every time I clean the bathrooms and I didn't want to have to keep running out to the store every time I needed more!
me: I also bought 1 bottle of The Works toilet bowl cleaner, which we had plenty of already. My fault, I owe you $0.94.
me: I bought tampons because I thought that you didn't want me to bleed all over our brand new floor, but now I know I was wrong. I will return them.
me: Then I bought generic store-brand paper towels (against all of my principles, to try to save money) because we needed those. We are almost out of our other ones.
me:Then I bought some brillo pads to clean the toilets. I will return those and use my tongue instead.
me: Then I bought rubber gloves, because the last time I put on my pair, the middle finger came off. But now I see that you would prefer that my hands dissolve in the cleaning fluids.
me: And then I bought two packages of scour pads to help get the grit off the tiles in the shower. So I owe you $4.68 for them, because I am not returning them.
me: So there it is. That's how I spent $38.38 at Wal-Mart. I am a horrible wife. They should have kept me from walking down the aisle.
And then we busted up laughing.
Monday, December 12, 2005
My ABCs
Yes, I stole this from someone else. But they used it almost a year ago, so they probably don't mind.
Admiring: The lovely diamond earrings hubby gave me for Christmas.
Beating myself up about: Not having something better to post right now.
Crying over: Arrested Development. What in the world is going on? How could Fox let that show go? It is one of the best things about that station!
Daydreaming about: Warm weather. Where did you go? Won’t you come back? Pretty please?
Excited because: Christmas is almost here! And I am almost done shopping!
Frustrated because: The floor is not finished yet. (GRRRR)
Grumpy because: I can be.
Hate-filled and seething over: Stupid people. Look below for an example.
Indignant because: Some lady asked me if I was the mom during a recent liquor purchase. She almost got punched.
Just shoot me now because: Free trip to the hospital! Whee!
Kidding myself regarding: That I will actually be productive today.
Listening to: iPod on shuffle. So pretty much, everything.
Mooning over: Everything that Tiffany has to offer.
Need: Better head-ache medicine. Quickly. Before head blows off.
Obsessing over: What I’m going to do for the rest of my life. (Or at least a portion of the next few years.)
Praying: For C-Los, and her car hunt. Also, her life in general. That kid needs a lot of prayer.
Questioning: Whether I should take a shower and get out of the house. Nah. Bill me.
Reading: The Abyssinian by Jean-Christophe Rufin. This would be my 3rd attempt at reading this book. We'll see!
Singing: Seal, Walk on By. (In my head, all the time. No specific reason.)
Trying: To think of a good idea for a blog entry, all the way up to thinking of a good idea for a book.
Unnerved by: Braille on ATMs.
Valentiney Update: Hubby did so well with the earrings! He got extra smooches!
Wondering: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
X-rated action: Uh, no. My parents read this.
Yawning over: Oh, you know. Lots of things bore me.
Zoinks: One of my favorite Calvin & Hobbes sayings.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
One Of My Favorite Things
I need to memorialize this here, lest anyone ever forget how hilarious this is. I know that many (all) of my readers have already seen it, but it may possibly be the funniest thing, ever. So, go watch this right now!
And then leave some comments. I am tired of you people reading my site but not giving any feedback. Tell me what you are thinking!
Thursday, December 08, 2005
The Company Christmas Party
So, just about every one of my readers was there this year, but I will go ahead and tell it from my perspective. Also, (now) a slightly more sober perspective.
To start the evening off right, C-Los got into a car accident which totalled her car. She was okay bar a few aches and pains. Nothing that a little free alcohol couldn't take care of. That was my take on it, anyway. I don't know if she was necessarily thinking the same way as I was, but I sure did cash in a little bit on that line of thought.
Plus, I was wearing these great Steve Madden shoes. They definitely called for a few martinis.
Martinis I had! Oh, and just to let you know... I am not a true martini drinker. I don't do real martinis. They have to have plenty of flavored liquor in them to be able to go down. My martini choice for the night was caramel apple. Very frou frou. Very tasty.
I will keep my drunken capers short and sweet.
I was wearing knee highs in a very horrific shade of tan. So fake looking. I am throwing them away, soon. Of course, I just bought them and they stayed in their package until right before we had to leave for the party. So I was stuck. Anywho, at one point in the night I started showing people my knees (whiter than snow). I prefaced the show with "wanna see something sexy?" That way people would know that I was being hilarious, not shamefully inebriated.
Okay, see? That was short and sweet! After re-reading this post I have decided not to spill any more Christmas Party Mishaps 2005, but to end. You are lucky that you got to find out that much about it!
And....
...This is what the living room will look like for the next 3 weeks. At least we got the computer and desk mostly set back up!
The Floor, Continued
Okay, so this was the first step to a new floor. We had to take up the carpet, which was pretty easy. I figure it was so easy because the builders used the CRAPPIEST carpet ever.
Of course, we had to save the TV for last, because hubby wasn't going to make it without football. (duh)
Here we have made some pretty major progress. It looks great!
Look how pretty!
Zoe still hasn't learned how to run on it! She slides all over the place, which is hilarious. I am sure that I will use it as a party trick when we have a floor warming party!
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
The Hair Saga
So, as many of you know, I have had hair issues recently. Brought entirely on myself by myself. I suck sometimes. Since many of you know this already, you may wonder why I am blogging about it. Well, for several reasons. One, you may have missed some of the details. Two, I never want to repeat the experiences that I am about to chronicle, so it will serve as a written reminder to me. And three, when I have children, I want to be able to point to a concrete reason why they should do as I say and not as I do.
The issues started on October 31, 2005. Now many of you are already clued in to the fact that NO major changes should occur on Halloween, especially for me. I highly enjoy Halloween, and it makes me kooky like many other people. (Although, my excuse is Halloween, what would their's be?)
So anyway, I have had a hair girl for 2 years now, and she is rock-solid fabulous. She makes my hair sing and dance and float on cloud nine. But for some reason, I decided I couldn't afford her anymore. I have since figured out that I need her almost as much as I need oxygen for life sustenance.
So I trotted my happy little self to Target, and started a series of hate crimes against my hair. My first offense started with a box of RED dye, and after applying it, discovering that my highlights had turned Kool-Aid red was a source of depression for me. My first inkling that things had gone terribly wrong was when I was in the shower rinsing the dye out. I happened to turn around and look at the wall. It looked like I had been murdered. There was red spattered all over the walls, the tub, and it was running down the drain. It was a shade of red that was diconcertingly close to the color of blood. I still get shivers when I remember that.
A few days later I found myself in Orlando, trying to put a brave face on things. I knew I wasn't going to last 4-6 weeks with this crazy hair color. So after get some mangled spanglish advice from a random salon worker, I headed to the drug-store to try to fix it. I was told that as long as I went for a product without peroxide, I would be fine. I had my co-worker dye my hair for me this time, because as it turns out, I am not so great at doing it myself. When I pulled my hair into a ponytail, you could see blond fringe all the way around my head. Plus I missed a HUGE spot in the back of my head, so I ended up having striped hair in shades of crazy red, Kool-Aid red, and my good old blonde.
The second round of dye helped calm things down a bit, and gave my hair a more brown undertone. It was a huge improvement. It only lasted for about a week.
My 3rd crime happened exactly 17 days after the 1st crime was committed. I called the free consultation hotline that is offered for patients, I mean, clients of the boxed hair dye. I was literally on the phone with my consultation specialist for half an hour. She was super stressed about what I had done to my hair, and I left out the part about dying it a second time. I figured telling her would lead to a heart attack for her, something I do not want to be responsible for. So she pointed me in the direction of another box of dye, this time straight brown. So once again, I happily trot to Target and purchase said box of dye.
This round produced a color that I was actually pleased with, but once again only lasted a week. I was once again stuck with my V-8 red hair. Oh, and I undertook dying it myself again, but this time I was a lot more careful and managed to produce an even, and all over, color. And the highlights weren't an issue after the second round of dye.
This last Friday, I had had ENOUGH! My hair situation was way worse than the movie Enough, my measuring stick for how bad things are. When I have reached that point, it is definitely time for a change. So I call my hair girl almost in tears. She asked me what I had done. She said she knew that tone of voice. I confessed to dying my hair(once), red with a box. She laughed and said she could fit me in the next day. I truly love her. If I had met her before hubby, I would probably have married her.
So the next day, we played ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. She dyed my hair a very lovely shade of dark brown. It still has an undertone of red, which she assures me will come out the next time. She also made fun of me mercilessly for using a box on my hair. I let her. It was a small price to pay for pretty hair again, and I deserved the heckling. And my hair forgave me too, because it decided not to take on too much damage after all the crap I had done to it.
I learned my lesson! Do not be cheap with my hair. Just save the money so my hair girl can work her magic on it.
And my hair lived happily ever after.