Thursday, December 29, 2005

Yikes.

I just read this post and I almost cried. It hit me, hard. And personally. This is so hard to write. Because it is real. To me.

I related to her in that post. I totally have those moments of the deepest despair. Life sucks. I suck.

Sometimes I will pick a fight with hubby, and in the end I am crying hysterically.

This is so hard. Some of you know this, but some of you don't. I have been on a low dose of an antidepressant for a long time. (Two years? Maybe?) And it really has helped to take the edge off of a lot of things. Not escaping. I still feel. I just feel like I can process information more rationally.

But lately I have noticed that I am gradually turning into that girl that I was two years ago. Edgy. Sensitive. Hyper-sensitive. Beginning to feel the scales tip the other way. More things are going wrong than right.

I have started to have my "fits" again. A spiral, a black hole. I can't breathe. All I can do is cry.

Anyway, I hope that by posting this I can maybe start to claw my way back. Because I know ultimately, I love life. I just have to remember why.

posted at 12/29/2005 08:10:00 PM   ::   0 comments

Listening

b.o.b.:b.o.b. presents the adventures of bobby ray
Containing this year's summer song: nothin' but you.

gorillaz:plastic beach
It's gorillaz. Need I say more?

Reading

Books of Booky Past: these are books that I have recently (or not so recently) read, and recommend.

the plain truth: jodi picoult
This book provided a wealth of information about the Amish community. It was wonderful.

the time traveler's wife: audrey niffenegger (sp?)
This book is like the movie Serendipity. Wow! the first time around, still pretty great for consequent readings.

Present Booky Books: do I really need to explain what this is?

dragon haven: robin hobb
Yeah, it's fantasy. So is Edward Cullen.



Books of the Future: Oooooo!

undecided



Viewing

TELEVISION
glee!
Every guilty pleasure song brought back to you! (Plus dancing!)

so you think you can dance
Nah nah nah nah so you think you can dance dance dance dance. Put me on the hot tamale train!

the office
Ah Steve Carrell.

MOVIES
10 things i hate about you
I love this movie. Plus, what's not to like about Julia Stiles?

clueless
Classic.

mean girls
Okay, I know, I know. Lindsay Lohan is a skank. But she wasn't when this movie came out. At least not in public.

drop dead gorgeous
This movie is absolutely hysterical.