Thursday, September 15, 2005
Beefcakes & Barbies
A.K.A-Bally's. But I will refer to them as B&B's, as it is more fun that way.
So, I joined B&B's to be able to swim. So far, so good.
But, I just wanted to say, I am the lone Troll doll among the Beefcakes & Barbies membership/staff. It is a peculiar feeling, and not very good. But seeing that I am a grown up (supposedly), I am fighting these feelings and getting on with my bad self.
Also, for those of us who had the excruciating pleasure of changing into or out of a swim suit in high school gym, B&B's is the place to go to relive those memories. The locker rooms are EXACTLY the same. Even the blood rushing to your face and turning your cheeks red is there! It is amazing! It was like they asked every gym teacher ever how to make this place as humiliating as possible. The lockers are right in front of a huge mirror, just in case you weren't shamed enough by your body. Right next to this mirror are the scales, for those with a really brave heart. Then there is the smell, and there is also a strange humidity in the air, which guarantees you a hard time when you are trying to change back into jeans. Of course, if you are like me, you already have a hard time getting them on because your entire body is soaked in fear-sweat, and now your time in the changing room is reminiscent of Ross trying to pull up his leather pants on Friends. The lengths that one will go to to avoid being seen.
But, I am also a clever girl. I invented a technique in high school to avoid unduly exposing myself while changing. It is called "The Towel Dance." "TTD" goes something like this: Grip towel in teeth about halfway down the length of it, so that each side hangs down. This provides pretty good coverage, while freeing up your hands to put on your clothes. It gets a little tricky once you get to the tee-shirt, but once you practice enough you won't have any problems. It is also helpful to face your un-toweled side towards the lockers. I find that lockers are very non-judgemental about your naked heiny.
So take that B&B's!
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